Eldrick found himself slowly waking up.  'Is this the afterlife?'  Moving, he was forced to acknowledge that it was not, the searing pain in his wrist reminding him of what had occurred.  'Damnit!  I can't even do that right.  Why do I fail at everything I do?  I can't be a guy.  I can't be a woman.  I can't be a healer.  I bet I can't even be a druid.'  He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.  Rolling over he buried his face in his pillow.  I can't even look at myself.  He tried to cry but there were no tears.  In fact, his mouth was exceedingly dry.

"He is awake."  That voice sent a chill down his spine.

'Why her?  Why did it have to be her?  Couldn't she just leave him alone?'  He couldn't face her.  She had no idea what he was going through, nor would she ever be able to understand.  She was perfectly comfortable with her own body.  Comfortable enough to wander around without a stitch of clothing, flaunting her perfect form.  While he was trapped in a body that betrayed him at every turn.  A body that's always in the wrong form.  He could hide his shortcomings with clothes but that wasn't enough.  He would never fill out the clothes he truly desired to any degree of success.  No breasts or hips to speak of.  Flat ass, a deepening voice, and a face sprouting whiskers.  Why couldn't I have a body like hers?  Lithe, shapely and perfect.  By the Eldritch, I would take Greta's form over this gangly male mistake.

A light touch on his shoulder brought him out of his musings.  He tried shrugging it off only to have the grip tighten. 

"Look, you need to drink something.  Dehydration is a horrible way to die."  The gruff voice caused him to turn.  Sergei's weathered face looked even more worn.

"Master," he tried sitting up, his damaged wrist forgotten.  With a heartwrenching scream of pain, he collapsed back into the bed, sweat lining his forehead.

"Eldrick, you are not well.  Petal says you are running a fever, and you haven't had any sustenance for three days."  He looked over his shoulder, "Sycamorea, I could use your help in getting him into a seated position."  He returned his gaze to his apprentice, the unspoken command clear in his eyes. 

"After you drink, you should hear what she has to say.  I doubt you want to hear anything from her, but you will listen," he raised his hand to forestall any comments.  "Or you are not the apprentice I took on twelve years ago.  The one who made the HARD choice to train with me."

Eldrick had no idea what hard choice he was talking about.  But the fact that he always seemed to do things the hard way made sense.  There was only one thing he wanted to hear from her, that she was going to let them leave.  He doubted she would say that.  He would hear her out, if only for Sergei's sake. He choked on the juice when he tried to drink too fast.  He noticed the small sprite curled up at the foot of his bed.

"How long has Petal been there?" his voice was harsh from not using it.

"He refused to leave your side.  We had to haul him off to make sure he ate."  Sergei's brow furrowed.  "He decided that since he was the only one trained in healing here you were his responsibility.  For one so small to take on such a large responsibility I am impressed."

Eldrick took another sip of the fruit juice.  "He takes responsibility seriously.  He may act like a child but he isn't."

Sycamorea nodded.  "He acted quickly to save your life."

"Like you care!"  His voice was full of venom.  "All you care about is causing pain and suffering."

"I guess I deserve that, but you were also rather hard to talk to.  I didn't know how to approach the topic with you."  A single tear travelled down her cheek.  "I am sorry.  I truly didn't mean to cause you harm.  I thought I would be able to train you quickly.  Amaryllis said you were smart and devoured knowledge.  By not having all the important information, I chose the wrong approach.  I didn't have all the information.  I do now and I would like to try again if you are willing."

"Like you said until I master it we are stuck here.  I don't trust you.  Those I do trust have faith in you, so I am willing to try.  Only so we can get out of here before Sergei dies from whatever it is that he is suffering from."

"That is fair.  I have an idea, but it will need your cooperation."  She looked concerned.  "I am not going to do anything to harm you.  There are going to be times where it will be difficult but not dangerous."  She placed her hands on the bed.  "You are a remarkable person, did you know that?"

Eldrick's eyebrows pulled in.  How could he be a remarkable person?  He had messed everything up.  "What do you mean?"

"We...ell," she drew the word out into two long syllables.  "After you tried to do yourself in, I had the opportunity to see your magical energies while your shields were down.  I don't know how it is possible.  I only know of three, maybe four different magical signatures.  You have five," she shifted from one foot to another. 

"The ones I am aware of are human, fae, dragon, and in the exceptionally rare, world.  You have one I have never encountered before.  Not to mention you blaze like the sun with power."  Shifting she sat on the foot of the bed by Petal.  Slowly she started stroking his hair out of his face.

She can't be all that bad if she can be that tender to a sprite.  Most people from what he could remember considered sprites to be pests.  He had a soft spot for Petal as well.

"After you hurt yourself, I panicked."  Now the tears were starting to stream.  "All I could do was get to your side and put pressure on your wrist in an attempt to stop the blood," she absently wiped away the tears. 

"I couldn't believe someone would rather be pruned from the world than face a difficult situation,"  she sobbed softly.  "I did not understand there were so many, not just one.  You have had them heaped upon you repeatedly," she sniffled. 

"I was the fruit that broke the branch.  While you are here would prefer if I called you Ellie?  There is no one here who actually wishes you harm.  Petal in his own panic would only call you Ellie."

Eldrick could feel the muscles in his face and shoulders relaxing.  Though she had violated him in numerous ways, she seemed to have a good, caring heart.  How?  He remembered her rummaging around in his head.  What had she discovered in there?  How could he trust her not to use anything she found against him?  "I remember you in my head.  Why would you do that?  A person should have some privacy."

He watched her drop her head, her face turning a bright red.  "I never should have done that.  I... I..." With her voice catching in her throat she seemed to strangle off what she was trying to say.

"You what?" he spat.

"I should have listened to Petal." 

Eldrick thought he saw her eyes brighten when she looked at Petal and said his name. 

"He told me not to, I didn't listen.  Did you know he is twice my age?"  Sycamorea's face turned crimson.  "I never considered sprites could be anything but childish pests."  With one finger she brushed a lock of his hair aside, slowly twirling it around.   "He has shown me they are more than anyone gives them credit for."

"Look, I know you don't trust me.  And I haven't given you any reason to.  I will be talking to the Drus for ages after you leave.  There are things I do not understand.  And...  unfortunately after what I did, I am even more confused."  "Look I am not much older than you really.  If we were to equivalate our ages, I would be considered barely an adult.  I am only 200.  It has been a hundred years since my mentor left the world.  I fear I may not have long left."  She looked towards Sergei.  Eldrick followed her gaze to see his master nod.  "It is rumoured there is never more than one of such ability at a time.  That as soon as the next one is trained the first one is doomed to pass from the world.  My master didn't live more than two years once I was trained.  I'm too young to wither like that."

Eldrck reached out a hand to Sycamorea, but stopped short.  There had to be a way to ensure she lived.  He wasn't even sure he would survive the year.  The stories Sergei had told him about how harsh the journeyman trials could be and that the number of masters who have lost apprentices to the trial was most of them.  Also the failed ones were usually in better physical condition than he was.

"I'm unsure if you have anything to worry about.  I may not survive the year ahead.  The trials I will be facing to reach master druid, have seen many fail.  All of whom were better than I."

"You don't understand,  I believe the trials are more a test of intelligence, not brawn.  You need to have more confidence in your skills."  She looked him right in the eyes.  What he saw was conviction.  It frightened him, yet helped him with his own desire to succeed where others had failed.

"I feel I should thank you, and yet, it feels wrong at the same time.  Why must everything be a contradiction?"

"Not everything is a contradiction, Ellie.  There are many things which seem that way until you step back and can see that it all falls into a pattern."

Eldrick pondered this news.  A pattern?  How could there be a pattern to what was happening to him?

"How does my life fit into any pattern?  I'm a freak."  He saw a spark of anger in Sycamorea's eyes for a moment before it faded.  "You said it yourself.  I'm too powerful and have too many magical signatures.  I can't even decide if I am male or female.  I mean I feel right when I can dress and look like a woman, but my body won't let me do that anymore.  If I go to the conclave as a woman they will have me killed.  Trying to be a guy just feels wrong."  He brought his hands up to his face.  "Like I said, I'm a failure."

"You are not a failure," Sycamorea's eyes widened.  "Your natural defences knocked me on my ass.  I had to drain the magical energy from the tools I brought to train you, just to defend myself.  You didn't touch any outside power it was all YOU!"  Her voice rose in volume as she expounded. 

"I have never seen your like.  You grabbed outside power twice in the house of healing.  You were training in the art of healing to heal others.  No thought about the consequences to yourself.  You act selflessly and risk your own life to benefit of others," she let out a sigh. "You never take more than you need.  When you return it, you use it to help refresh and vitalize those you borrowed it from."  She stopped to take a few breaths. 

"These are the reasons you engender loyalty and trust.  You choose carefully when you act on your convictions.  You wear power like a mantle, yet you have chosen to hide it.  I saw you as a humble apprentice.  Now I see a master of one's own destiny.  You care for others and think little of yourself.  Oh, shoot now I am just repeating myself."  Her face was flushed.

"I have a duty to fulfill.  My duty is to this world and my master.  I have no duty to myself."

"WHAT!?"  Sycamorea collapsed into the chair, her eyes wide as her hand covered her mouth.  "In order for you to fulfill any duty to others, you must first have a duty to yourself.  If you fail yourself, how on Corrigenda can you fulfill your duty to others?  That is a bunch of hooey.  Whatever made you think that?"

Eldrick didn't say anything, only looked over at Sergei.  Sergei's face fell.  How he had failed his master so to make him look so crestfallen.  Then he remembered one of the first lessons Sergei had tried to teach him years ago.  'You have to take care of yourself otherwise duty is useless'.  He let himself fall back onto the bed.  His shame was clear for anyone who had eyes to see it.

"I am tired.  Please let me rest."  Closing his eyes to get the point across that this conversation was over.

"Sleep well Ellie.  We can talk more once you have rested.  It is going to be a few days before you are strong enough to train again anyway.  I will see to it that your master keeps getting his tea.  I do hope that it is helping him enough.  I would hate to see him collapse before you reach your destination."  Eldrick could hear the concern in her voice, though he didn't wish to acknowledge it.

He felt Sycamorea use the bed to rise from the chair.  Sergei's hand squeezed his shoulder for a moment before releasing it.  Eldrick could hear their footsteps receding as he lay there feeling sorry for himself. 

He felt so alone.  All his friends were back in Herigberg.  Sure Petal was a friend but the poor little sprite was working himself to death.  He wished he had never decided to become Sergei's apprentice.  But if he hadn't he wouldn't have made the friends he had.  Why is it that every decision leads to consequences? 

Friends can be used as emotional weapons by his enemies.  Of course, his friends were capable of taking care of themselves.  Well, that is if they aren't poisoned. 

Those assassins were using a type of poison that killed instantly, or close enough not to make a difference.  He had to figure a way to defend against the assassins.  As soon as they learned of his whereabouts he was sure they would make another attempt on his life. 

How many can there be?  And why were they after him in the first place?  He was a literal nobody.  In fact he felt like he was less than a nobody.  Slowly as his mind tried to muddle through these thoughts true sleep crept over him.

He awoke a couple of hours later to a cool, tiny hand on his forehead.  He opened his eyes to find his vision swimming.

"Ellie needs to rest.  Petal will take care of Ellie," his voice quiet and insistent.  "Ellie is hot to touch.  Petal will get cool cloths for you."  With fluttering wings, he lifted off the bed.

"Feverfew, vervain and mint tea please?"  Eldrick surprised himself that he could even remember those were herbs that helped with fever and nausea.

"Okay," was all Eldrick could hear as Petal flew away.  He lay there wondering what he had done to earn the little sprites loyalty.  As he tried to think on it he drifted off again.

The next time he awoke, Sergei was seated on the edge of the bed wringing a cloth out into a basin set on a stool beside him.  He could feel Petal pacing across the bed.  Sycamorea was sitting on the other side of the bed, holding his good hand.  He could feel her tears falling gently onto his hand.  His head was pounding, his mouth dry.

"Tea," he was barely above a whisper.

"Glimhook!"  Sergei's bellowing voice ricocheted through Eldrick's skull.  The sound of hoofs on the hardwood floor felt like a hammer beating on the drumskin of his head.  Wincing in pain, he tried to pull away from the noise in the room around him.  He couldn't remember any time when he had felt this bad.

Someone was helping him sit up to prevent the need to put pressure on his wrist.  Thinking about his wrist brought a renewed throbbing which had only been registering in the back of his mind.  The itching of his wrist was causing his skin to crawl.  He really wanted to scratch but with Sycamorea holding his other hand he couldn't reach it. 

The feeling of china to his lips reminded of the tea he had asked for.  Taking a sip he noticed it was tepid and sweetened with honey.  Overly sweet meaning Petal had prepared it for him.  The honey helped to hide the flavour of the feverfew.  Being tepid and not hot was a welcome surprise.  He noticed a slightly bitter aftertaste.  Was that willow bark?  He drank it all glad for the easing of the pain in both his head and the throbbing in his wrist, though the itching seemed to intensify.

"Petal glad to see Ellie awake.  Now go back to sleep.  Petal is trying to think of how to restore blood but is coming up blank."  Petal resumed the pacing he had stopped to address Eldrick.  He thought he could hear Petal running through a litany of flowering plants.  The knowledge Petal needed was locked in his own mind, but being unable to recall the answer he slowly drifted back to sleep.

Eldrick found himself in a routine of waking for only a few moments, being given tea or broth, sometimes both.  He didn't know how much time had passed when he woke to a new voice in the room. Sergei and Sycamorea were talking with a third person.  Their slow deep voice reminding Eldrick of a gentle breeze passing through a thicket.  Sycamorea's voice carried a similar breathiness.  He still didn't have the strength to sit up on his own, but the itch seemed to have faded.  The pounding of his head had diminished, though his heart was racing.

"I will need to speak with the child before I can say anything one way or another.  Sycamorea, if he is as powerful as you say, you are going to need to proceed very carefully.  I don't sense the aura of power from him.  To me he seems like a candle stub spluttering in the wind."  The deep voice held doubt.  Eldrick wished he could prove it but he didn't have the energy to blow out a candle.

"Elder Cuán, his shields are back.  I trained him to make them instinctual.  I am sure he would drop them if I asked but with his condition he may not be able to."  Sergei's voice was strained and sounded old.

Trying to remember how he had constructed the shields, he slowly dismantled them. 

"By the ELDRITCH!" 

The gasp of astonishment from the newcomer brought a slight curve to his lips. That will show you, he thought vindictively.  With his concentration broken his shields snapped back into place.  He noticed his arms snagging on the bedding.  Looking down he noticed tiny scales were forming.  What were they feeding him?  He was told not to eat anything from within the Faelands as there would be changes.  He began sweating, was unable to breathe, and his eyes clamped shut.

A hand on his shoulder caused him to calm.  He turned to see a wizened gentleman who looked like he had walked out of an oak tree.  With the chain of acorns around his neck, his skin looked like aged bark, dark and cracking.  His face, brought memories of an old gnarl in the trunk of a tree. 

"Young one, I see you are not feeling well, but I was asked to come and talk to you."  His breathy voice instilling calm and reducing the rebellion which had been growing.  "I am near the end of my season, and soon will become one with the land.  Your master is failing and there needs to be someone to make sure you can prevail in your trials.  I am an odd one myself but you will understand in time." 

He turned his head toward the doorway, "I would appreciate some time alone with this young person if you will."  His calm voice exuded command not request.  Oh, how Eldrick wished he could do that.  But then maybe it had something to do with age, not skill.  His gaze returned to Eldrick's but he said nothing until the door closed with an audible click. 

"Now we can talk.  I have been filled in on some things you have been dealing with," he held up a hand to forestall any interjections.  "You will have a chance to talk later, but first you need to listen to what I have to say."  He turned, found a chair and brought it over to the bedside.  Sitting in it, he pursed his lips and stroked his chin. 

Eldrick was about to speak when the hand came up again.  He tried waiting patiently, but the old man was dragging this out interminably.  Why was it old people always thought there was all the time in the world?  Then he thought of Sebastian, he too only acted in haste when there was a need, otherwise he was contemplative.  Maybe it was due to trauma.  No, it couldn't be, could it?  In what was it four or five months Sebastian had injured the same wing three, no four times.  Now he was stuck in Herigberg until his wing healed properly.  He realized that his mind had wandered to thoughts of his friends when he heard the old man speaking.

"... you.  There are many who do not understand the need to be something other than what you are.  I learned to accept myself and shifted my affiliation."  Pulling a handkerchief from his satchel, he mopped his brow.  "It was not easy.  It caused me much pain to have those I cared about turn their backs on me," he dropped his face into his hands. 

"It has been centuries since this happened, but I have seen the world and the peoples out there have not changed all much."  His voice seemed to be choked with pain.  Though Eldrick couldn't quite understand why.  "From what I know you have been lucky to find those who are willing to accept you for who you are.  Treasure them, for they are rare."

Clearing his throat, he looked up, locking eyes with Eldrick.  "Now I believe it is time for you to get up and move around otherwise  your limbs will become brittle and a strong wind could cause them to snap." 

Eldrick wondered what that had to do with anything.  The old man rose from the chair and pulled the blankets back.  "Come on young one, you need to walk.  It will help ground you."  He helped Eldick into a seated position.

Placing a hand on the outside leg just below the knee, he swivelled Eldrick so his legs were hanging off the edge of the bed.  He placed a hand in the small of the back and pulled Eldrick off the edge of the bed.  With his feet connecting to the floor, Eldrick felt his legs wanting to buckle.

"Oh no, you don't," he held Eldrick up and steady.  "Feel the strength of the floor beneath you.  Let it fill you.  Draw it from the ground through your feet, let it flow up your legs, your spine and out the top of your head."

Eldrick thought about the instructions and did so.  He could feel his energy returning, his body standing taller, and his head seemed clearer.  Wait, he could sense more energy around him.  Energy he had never noticed before.  "What has happened?  Why can I suddenly sense energy everywhere?"

The old man chuckled, "Oh youngling you always could, but you shut yourself off from the world.  Shoes and boots are barriers.  You need to touch the world.  Corrigenda offers much for those who are willing to listen to her song.  It is in the seasons, the wind, and all the creatures that live on her surface."  Lifting his foot so Eldrick could see it was bare. 

"Druid is a bastardization of Drus.  Servalin did that on purpose, he wanted to gather all the races.  Unfortunately, we fae thought it was rude.  He discussed many things with us while forming his order.  He was a wise man and though some would have been willing to join, the court ruled that we would not.  They feared the humans more than anything else.  There have always been those with the heart of a fae and have been welcomed.  All have been druids."

Elder Cuán guided Eldrick step by slow step around the bed.  "Now what we see from most in the order, is greed and the unrelenting seeking of power."  He sat in a nearby chair, motioning for Eldrick to keep walking around.  "Drus live in balance with the world and all living things.  But to do that, one must communicate with her.  In winter she will keep you warm, in summer cool.  If you separate yourself from her you miss out on all she has to offer.  From now on, I recommend that you not wear shoes.  Also now that you have discovered this secret you will find the experience of learning from Sycamorea to be easier."  He cocked his head to one side as if listening for something. 

"She too is suffering from what happened with you.  She is a proud one, that she is, but she will not talk about her pain with you.  I do believe she is right now speaking with her mother."  He reached absently for a glass sitting on the table nearby.

"Are you thirsty?"  Eldrick thought about it and found he was neither thirsty nor hungry.  He was also feeling stronger, nearly back to where he was before.  He shook his head.  "I didn't think so."  the mirth in his voice was infectious.  Eldrick gave a little chuckle. Then he remembered the scales forming on his arms.

"I have a couple questions myself.  That is if you can answer them."

"I will do my best, but depending on the questions I may not have the answers.  Ask away."  He looked concerned.

"Well, I was told not to eat or drink anything from the Faelands because there could be untold consequences.  I am unsure what they have been giving me and now I have scales on my arms.  Tiny ones mind you but they are noticeable, at least to me.  I am not sure if others will notice.  I fear if they are I could die by the hands of the druids when I challenge for journeyman."

"Ok, come over here and let me look."  He rose from the chair.  Eldrick noticed the height difference for the first time.  This old man only came up to his shoulder and he wasn't all that tall himself.

Eldrick approached and held out his arms. Cuán took them and looked at them carefully.  He hmm'd and hah'd over them for a while, turning them first one way then the other.  Running his hands up and down them.  Eldrick could feel them shifting under the elder's hands.  The feeling wasn't painful, but disconcerting.  He knew better than to speak while under investigation.  Sergei had mentioned this was going to be part of the challenge.

"Well I can feel something under my hands, and yes they are visible.  There is nothing here that would cause this reaction in someone.  I do have a thought about it though.  I think it may be an aspect of your blood.  I think if you want you can make them disappear.  Try willing them away."

Eldrick considered this and chose to attempt it.  He thought hard on his arms and the desire for the scales to just vanish.  With a tingling sensation he felt them withdrawing back into his skin.  "How is that possible?"

"From what I saw of your power, you have the ability to draw on every form of magic.  I would love to know how that is possible, but some mysteries are best left alone.  Of course, because of your power, there is nothing here which you cannot partake of."

 Eldrick's eyebrows raised at this last comment.  "What does that mean?"

"Exactly what I said.  The foods here are designed to work with Fae magics and our connections to the land.  You have Fae magic.  Humans do not and thus our foods will cause them to become attuned to the land in a way that makes it difficult if not impossible for them to leave.  This is the reason for the warning.  Those who do not pay heed, start to go crazy because they want to see their loved ones."

"Ellie has fae magic?"  Petal's voice startled Cuán.  "Oh Elder Cuán, so nice to see you again."

"Petal, I didn't know you were here.  Why have you been so quiet?"

"Petal was sleeping.  Petal sorry, Petal knows better than to interrupt lessons."  His tiny face starting to turn red.

"You little one, have more right to be here than most.  You have been the one caring for...  Did you call him Ellie?"

"Oh no, Petal sorry Eldrick.  Petal messed up again."

"Petal, I know it is hard to remember sometimes."

"Petal was one of my students years ago, before he abandoned me for that leprechaun witch.  How is the old bag of bones doing these days anyway?"

"Amaryliss is fine.  She is tending a wing injury right now.  Very delicate work.  Petal wishes he could have stayed to learn."

"So she finally offered to train you did she?"  He chuckled in a way that Eldrick took to be good-natured teasing between old friends.  "I am glad that old bat has decided to finally train you.  I really do miss her company.  She helped me so much when I was younger."  He looked over at Eldrick, "She helped me through a tough time as I struggled.  I was born a dryad, but in my heart I was a Drus.  My sisters couldn't understand why I couldn't just stay a dryad.  My friends all turned their backs on me as to them I was breaking the laws of nature.  I tried to point out that there were creatures in nature that did it all the time.  They just mocked me.  Petal gathered the local sprites and threatened to avoid their groves for a century.  They simply quit talking to me after that, so I left the faelands for a while."  Eldrick could see the pain of these memories lurking behind his eyes.  He wanted to reach out and offer the elder drus a hug.  Instead, he opened his mouth and asked the worst thing he would ever want to be asked himself.

"How did you overcome and become male?"  As soon as the words left his mouth he dreaded them and wished he could take them back.  He watched the man's eyes, fearing he had caused more pain by asking him to relive the experience.  He found he was more worried about how the other would react than how he himself was feeling about his own situation.  Was this what the old man had planned?  Could duty be to more than one thing without conflict?  He tore his gaze away from the man in the chair and began pacing the room again.  Trying to get his thoughts in order so he could sort through them as a druid was trained.

"Good, now you are thinking," the chuckle was full of mirth.  "There are never any easy answers, just more questions.  If you ever find you have run out of questions to ask, you might as well curl up in the compost.  Because at that point you are as good as dead anyway."  Rising from the chair he headed over to Edlrick and clapped him on the back. 

"I may make a true Drus out of you yet.  Now let's get out of here and get some food.  No not that broth they have been feeding you but something a little more substantial.  Come along my fluttery friend that means you too.  You are nothing but wing tissue and sinew."

"Petal is not that bad!"  His indignation was drowned by the rumbling of his stomach.  Everyone laughed at the juxtaposition.  Eldrick held out his nearest hand to Petal.  Petals gaze dropped for a moment but when it returned to Eldrick's he was shaking his head.  "Petal will land on shoulder, not hand or arm."

Confused Eldrick looked at which hand he had held out and saw the bandages.  The flush of memory hit him, he had tried to end his life by cutting his wrist.  He felt embarrassment and shame at his weakness.  He glanced over at the man walking beside him.

"Have you ever tried to end your life?  I am not asking to bring up painful memories, I just need to know if it is a common thing.  I am sorry, Sir."  Ducking his head to try to hide his chagrin, forgetting that the one walking beside him was shorter and would be able to see it clearly.

"I will answer your questions after we have a good meal."