Ah! My Goddess Easter Egg

Warnings: Abuse Triggers, Dark Romance

Checkout the chapter End Notes (Potential Chapter Spoilers) for more details on that. I think Dark Romance is appropriate here... I'll use that for chapters with similar context.

She sighed, Fashionably late as usual.

Nyx was waiting for him outside the blacksmith.

She regarded the moon above while leaning against the wall next to the door. Nyx was looking forward to the 'celebrations' tomorrow, even if she's not one for parties. She enjoys dancing and she hasn't danced in quite some time. She hummed under hear breath, and tapped the rhythm with her right heel to the music in her head.

Permanent members of the Tufani caravan included artisans, healers, hunters, and entertainers. The variety of skills allowed the caravan to survive and thrive, both within and without the cities and towns. The caravan was able to fend for themselves for months at a time, if required. However, Keetjah made sure to stop over at 'civilized areas' whenever the opportunity presented itself for trade and assistance. She didn't hesitate to return the favour for those in need either.

These were skills and life philosophies that Nyx carried with her. Nyx would also temporarily team up with other travels when she crossed their paths and help out where she could when she found herself passing through a town. Sometimes it worked out and other times she made sure to hit the road sooner rather than later. Although, this time was the longest she had remained with a group of people besides the Tufani caravan.

She was mentally going through the dancing steps to the music in her head.

After a while she saw his silhouette approach between the shadows of the surrounding buildings. He stepped out into the moonlight wearing his wicked smile. 

The music in her head stopped abruptly and set her mouth in a line. Sighing inwardly to herself.

He is the embodiment of dangerous beauty.

She chuckled to herself, Ladies and gentlemen meet Astarion and eat your little beating hearts out.

He sauntered past her and placed a hand on the door.

He lilted with a sly expression, "Ready?"

She shrugged, "As much as I could be.", then smirked, "Let's hunt."

There was a passageway hidden in the basement of the blacksmith. It led into a series of winding tunnels, caves, and caverns. They passed a few of Astarion's 'previous' kills along the way; one- or two-phase spiders and some ettercaps.

Nyx pressed her lips together and raised her eyebrows impressed, "Had fun down here?"

"Positively dripping with it, my dear. And we are going to have so much more."

She snorted and smiled.

---

They were standing on top of elevated ground while Nyx surveyed the scene in the distance with crossed arms.

Astarion mentioned that the necromancer's journal detailed a hiding place for the keystone nearby, but the phase spiders had taken up residence since. There were seven phase spiders protecting two egg clutches. Astarion also noticed a matriarch with them before, but for the moment she was nowhere to be seen.

Likely hunting herself.

Nyx squinted her eyes while she went through several strategies and cross-referencing with what she had on hand. She didn't like killing animals for the fun of it or because they were a nuisance. However, there was no way to inspect the area without inciting their wrath and there wasn't enough time to carefully incapacitate them (it would take days to do so without harming the animals).

She sighed, Extermination it is. Let's make it as swift and painless as possible, spiders or no.

She shifted when Astarion sidled next to her. He handed her two alchemical fire potions. She raised her eyebrows and took them, "Why, thank you."

"For the egg clutches, my dear. Repossessed these from the goblins.", he lulled with a sly smile.

She gave him a flat look and snorted, Right.

She removed her backpack and exchanged the bright yellow alchemist fire flasks for several other flasks of various sizes and liquids. Astarion watched with interest.

She held up the first two larger potions with opaque white liquid and explained, "These two are potent antidotes to pretty much any 'mild' poison, and they can be taken as preventatives", she gestured to the spiders with the potions.

Astarion looked very pleased and reached for one of the flasks. She withdrew it from his grasp, receiving a side-eye from him and she continued, "However, I am not sure how well they'll work with", she paused and gestured with the potion in an up-and-down motion towards him, "your disposition."

"Darling, I'm sure if they work on you, it'll be fine for me", he lulled and snatched the flask from her hand.

She shrugged, pulled off the cork and toasted towards him, "Bottom's up."

He sniffed at the potion, gave it a raised eyebrow, and downed it.

"Ugh, tastes like chalk.", he stuck out his tongue.

"Hmm, it's the clay that's going to keep you alive", she said with amusement, tasting bits of slit against her teeth.

"Clay?", he asked her with mild surprise and peered frowning at the flask's sediment.

She clasped several other small longitudinal vials with translucent orange liquid between her fingers, "These are paralytics, quick-acting and long-lasting. Although, I did not create these to be used on spiders. So, no guarantees."

He huffed slightly annoyed at her, "Your confidence is inspiring, darling."

She blinked at him and replied pointing with a finger around one of the potions, "Give me more heads-up next time and I'll brew you potions to make an ogre's toes itch nonstop for the next 30 years, guaranteed."

He barked a pitched laugh and lilted grinning, "Touche", taking the proffered paralytic. They prepared their arrows and searched for a more suitable position to start their ambush.

---

The cavern sported several perches, Nyx and Astarion discussed which one they'd take up. Nyx had her multi-arrow bow rest equipped, but shooting three arrows at the same time was an once-off strategy for her, she cannot draw fast enough to use it in battle. Whereas, Astarion happily informed Nyx that he is fast enough on the draw to shoot multiple arrows even during battle.

She rolled her eyes at him, "Yes, yes Mr. Super Predator. I get it.", he scoffed at her amused.

"It's Mr. Beautiful Super Predator to you, my dear.", he lilted leaning towards her with an expectant glint in his eye.

She snorted and repeated sarcastically, "Yes, yes Mr. Super Self-Important Predator. I get it."

He made an indignant noise, but grinned, nonetheless.

They agreed to take out the three-spider mob around the first clutch of eggs and then the other clutch with four spiders. If they're lucky, which is unlikely, the other four spiders won't notice the initial attack. They took up their relative perches and Astarion waited listening for Nyx to release her arrows first.

The arrows arched into the distance, hitting their intended targets with the paralytic toxin, but even her toxin needs time to work. Unfortunately, phase spiders are alert, fast and intelligent; a deadly combination. Nyx saw them turn, clocking her and Astarion's positions, chittered at each other and all seven responded.

Abyss take them, Nyx was dismantling the bow rest and nocking a new arrow.

Astarion managed to get off another set of arrows before the spiders blurred into the Ethereal plane. Nyx stowed her arrow and bow as four phase spiders reached her perch. She had her knives ready with more toxin and flung at least one knife into each spider. She vaulted off the perch, reorientated and called to her knives when she landed.

Before she could send the knives flying again the spiders phased. Nyx held her knives ready waiting for them to reappear. She glanced at Astarion nearby, driving his daggers into a partially paralyzed spider from behind.

Good, that's good.

Her spiders returned, up close this time. One grabbed her leg and she drove her hunting knife into an eye while her throwing knives sliced its legs from her body. The throwing knives joined her hunting knife in its other eyes. She yelped when another spider sunk its fangs into her side, she could feel its venom pour into the wound. She groaned through clenched teeth as it ripped its fangs from her flesh. She turned to slice the length of its exposed underbelly, gutting it. The other two threatened to swarm her. Their legs snatched towards her while she dove out of the way, but their movements were slowed, due to the paralytic.

One managed to jump on top of her and she rolled around just in time to grapple with its fangs, reinforcing her arms against its weakening limbs. Its other legs had lost their strength and the spider lay on top of her, pinning her under its weight. She wrestled with dripping fangs in her face, beady eyes glistening overhead. She propped up her reinforced legs underneath its body and pushed, sliding it off her. She quickly sliced open its head with her knife and watched while Astarion finished off the last one.

She retrieved a flask of water from her backpack to wash the venom off her face, she doesn't want to take any chances, preventative antidote or not. She rinsed the wound at her side and healed it.

She offered her flask to Astarion who grinned at her, raised his hands in the air and gave her a smug little twirl. He had no injuries whatsoever.

She lowered her flask hand to her side and gave him a blank look, "Seriously?"

"Not even a scratch, darling," he lulled at her with a grin.

She put the flask away grumbling under her breath, "More like Super Show-off Predator", and he chuckled wryly.

---

Nyx was eyeing the egg clutches while she reapplied toxin to her weapons. She was debating whether she wanted to destroy them, but she couldn't find a good reason to do so. Astarion didn't seem to have any such reservations while he retrieved his alchemical fire flasks.

She took a breath to speak, "You're going to burn them? Even though they pose no threat?”

Astarion gave her a raised eyebrow, “You, my dear, have been spending too much time with the druids.”

Nyx snorted, “I don’t see the point in killing animals that pose no threat. Besides we’re the intruders here, no ‘druiding’ necessary.”

Astarion sighed dramatically waving with a hand at the clutches, “I don’t see the point. It’s just a bunch of spiders.”

I’m sure other creatures have the same opinion about us.

She replied, "They have a right to their lives, however insignificant that may be to you."

He scoffed turning to her annoyed, "Are you h-"

A low grating skitter emanated from a dark shadow on the ceiling behind Nyx.

Nyx froze, turning around slowly, wide eyed and gripping her knife. The matriarch's many eyes gleamed like iridescent baubles, clasping something between her mandibles. Nyx was busy formulating a strategy when Astarion threw the alchemist's fire on the closest egg clutch.

By the Abyss! Astarion!

The matriarch dropped her prey and pounced on Astarion. Nyx sent her knives into the matriarchs unprotected lower abdomen. She drew her bow, nocking an arrow while Astarion rolled out of reach when the spider landed.

Giant nimble legs almost kept pace with Astarion's dodging movements. Nyx's arrow found its mark in one the spider's eyes. The spider turned to her, its spinnerets quivered, and a sticky ball of web flew towards Nyx. Nyx tried to dodge the ball that unfurled into an eight-pointed net of spiderweb, but it caught her leg and pinned her into position once it made contact with the ground.

She was only immobilized, but not incapacitated. She nocked another arrow. The spider was lunging and grasping at Astarion while he glided between its legs, slicing, or stabbing at the joints. However, the spider showed no signs of paralysis from the toxin.

Abyss take it.

Nyx systematically shot arrows at the spider's back, creating a line across its abdomen, underneath which sat its heart. A spider's heart is an elongated sac, it had protrusions that extended outwards closer to the surface of its exoskeleton. She was hoping to hit one of those points nearest to the surface, piecing the heart. Her magic drove each arrow deeper as she found her rhythm and flow.

Astarion slipped on the mixture of the spider's venom and blood on the floor. The matriarch's large fangs flashed and bared down on him. He cried out as she sunk them into his back. Nyx took the opening the spider's stance provided then shot an arrow into the spot just behind its rear leg - rupturing a lung. The spider reared with flailing legs, releasing Astarion. He recovered swearing at the creature and proceeded to hack through two of its legs while it struggled to compensate for the perforated organ.

Another one of Nyx's arrows struck true and tore into the animal's heart from above. The spider's body shone with blood oozing out of various wounds over its body. It started to crawl backwards away from Astarion on its remaining legs, foundering as its strength seeped away, unable to support its own weight. Nyx watched with resignation when Astarion delivered the final blows to the dying animal. It hissed at him baring fangs again, Astarion mercilessly cut them away and drove his daggers between its eyes and cleaved its head open. Astarion turned with a wide grin towards Nyx, leaving a dead but twitching body behind.

Nyx set her mouth in a line then concentrated on cutting away at the web that still held her in place. It was a tedious process. Nyx heard Astarion make a strange noise and turned to watch him collapse.

"Astarion!", she called to him, but he didn't reply while he lay motionless on the ground.

Shit!, Nyx forced her shaking hands to calm down while her adrenaline and anxiety intermingled.

With slow deliberate movements she freed herself and ran over to where he lay.

---

He was lying face down, eyes closed.

"Astarion?", she asked kneeling next to him.

"Stop fooling around; it isn't funny", she paused waiting for a reply, "Astarion!"

When he didn't speak, she shook his shoulders, but he didn't stir.

She proceeded to rinse and heal his wounds similar the way she did for hers before.

"Come on, Astarion", she pleaded with him when he didn't rouse.

She turned him around, reflexively checking for a pulse with one hand, and breath with the other. Initial panic gripped her heart when she found neither - and swore at herself for being so daft.

His undead Nyx, keep it together.

She gently pried open one of his eyes, but his pupils were unresponsive as well.

"Agh," she covered her face with her hands in frustration, "How am I supposed to do first aid on a vampire!"

She had a thought and with shaking hands she rummaged through her pack for a healing potion.

Next, she pried open his mouth, poured the liquid in. She held his mouth closed with one hand under his jaw and rubbed his throat with the other, but to no avail.

"By the Abyss Astarion! You don't have a swallowing reflex either?!", she was becoming increasingly flustered when she realized how ill equipped her medical knowledge was in this situation. She had no idea whether he was undead or dead-dead.

She was debating on whether slapping him would help. She decided against it.

Then it hit her, Blood! But of course, Nyx!, she wanted to smack herself instead.

She grabbed her knife and cut her hand, pooling the blood in her palm. She pried his mouth open once more and dribbled some blood onto his tongue. She closed his mouth and smeared blood over his bottom lip as well for good measure. She withdrew her hand and healed her wound.

She held her breath watching him, her heart pounded in her chest.

Nyx sat back on her heels, lowered her head into her hands, closing her eyes and tried to think of something else. Her mind only circled around getting Shadowheart and the others to help. She didn't hear when Astarion slowly sat up, but she heard him swallow. She startled and froze when she saw his eyes almost black with predatory instinct. She regarded him silently between her fingers.

He blinked and his demeanour relaxed. He took a deep breath closing his eyes and sucked in his bottom lip, savouring the remaining blood.

What did he refer to it as... 'vintage'?, she watched with a raised eyebrow, somewhat understanding the comparison. The instinct to hunt is a compulsion for most predatory animals, there is little choice in the matter; it is their nature. Just like the matriarch that spins her webs and hunts for her brood; it is in her nature. However, if the reward for vampire's hunt is as intoxicating as alcohol - perhaps even more so judging by his reaction - she could start to understand the reverie of its blood spell.

Mental note to self. Probably best to minimize his exposure to mine. Extenuating circumstances aside... How does he remain so composed during battle with all that blood?

---

"My dear, were you so concerned that you willingly parted with your blood once more?"

I'm going to ignore that. She sighed in relief and relaxed herself seeing as he is back to his usual capering self.

He was grinning at her now, "You were making an awful lot of fuss about little old me."

So, he was aware the whole time?, she frowned with her hands on her hips.

"And why wouldn't I?", she asked genuinely.

"Fretting so much over vampire spawn, darling?", he scoffed amused.

"What?", Nyx asked unsure of what that was supposed to mean.

"Most becoming", he made a low lull, glancing at her sideways.

She is not in the mood for whatever innuendo he was cooking up in his head.

"So, what? You'd prefer I abandon you to whatever fate brings next time, hmm? When have I ever done that?"

His smug expression dropped and was replaced by something Nyx couldn't quite read. He regarded for a moment longer with a tilt of his head.

"If I remember correctly, my dear. You were planning on leaving us to the Gnolls not long ago."

Too many things went through her mind all at once; she could feel her anger build. She couldn't comprehend how that situation had any relevance to the present one.

I could have left that night in the woods when you were starving too. But I didn't.

He raised an eyebrow at her frown, expectantly waiting for her reply.

She reeled her racing mind in, turning her words towards herself.

"That.", she started, "Was about loyalties that did not yet exist. I also remember offering my help then, and it being thrown back in my face and questioned. Just like it is now."

She was furious.

He watched her without an expression, and she cut him off when he moved to reply.

I'm not done with the truth.

"I don't want anyone to die. Not back then, not now.", her gesturing more animated than usual, "Not Tav or anyone else for that matter. Not even Lae'zel. This includes you."

He seemed taken aback by that. He wore the same incredulous look in the forest that night.

She said softly as her voice started to shake, "I've had enough of people dying on me."

Why am I this angry? Why am I even saying all these things?

With that last thought, her tadpole wriggled, and several memories threatened to overwhelm her at once.

She blinked through the swarming memories and held onto her head, "Fucking parasite."

She shoved the memories away and stood up. Mercifully he didn't say anything. She walked away towards an overhanging ledge and stared into the darkness.

Calm down, she told herself and then to the parasite, Stop interfering.

There was no response from it.

She breathed for a good while sweeping her unfocussed eyes across the cavern floor below. Something glinted in the distance through her bleary eyes.

--- --- --

Astarion watched her walk away. He regarded her with a tilted head. She was usually more pleasant, especially considering her reserved nature. The parasite seems to truly be a problem for her.

But what is it actually doing to her?, he mused.

He wasn't a stranger to emotions. He was expertly equipped at dealing with people by way of a very specific subset of their emotions; passion, desire, lust. All these things he understood well, and could use to his advantage much like the daggers on his person.

Emotions like anger or sadness aren't nearly as useful. He dealt with his own by skirting around it. Quite frankly, he learned rather quickly over the last few centuries that no one cared about his feelings. The only thing other people cared for was how he could be in service to them, and in turn, he would fulfil the needs of his master.

Passion, desire, lust.

It was as simple as that. Words were the easiest. Sometimes a little more physical encouragement.

Nothing I haven't done before.

Her words were very revealing. Her secrets were both numerous and delectable. She's also further along his plan than he anticipated. Her feelings towards him more pronounced.

She is primed for a small push, he smiled to himself, Then she, and her powers or secrets (either will do) will become even more pliable to, my wishes and desires.

He listened to how she used her breathing to settle herself.

After a while she cleared her throat and said in her even tone, "I think I found the gemstone."

Curious and somewhat surprised, he stood in one graceful motion and walked over to her. She pointed towards something in the cavern below. Yet he couldn't see anything except cave walls, ledges and the like.

"I can't see anything, my dear", he lulled and gave her a dubious glance.

She set her mouth in a line and pointed again, "It's over there."

He followed her motion and squinted, but for the (un)life of him, he saw nothing - only darkness. Yet, he is inclined to believe her. She has indeed done very little to make him doubt her word.

But how is she able to see it when I cannot?

He turned to her with a knowing smile, "Why hello, little drow-babe."

--- --- ---

Shit.

Firstly, she had no love for her heritage, or half-heritage.

Secondly, not advertising herself as half-drow kept her safe. Kept them safe.

Lastly, people tended to treat her differently when they knew.

It was easier to let people simply assume things about her heritage, especially considering her appearance. Their assumptions were usually incorrect, and that suited her. Although, she had wondered a few times whether that was by design too... I will find you again, I always do.

Her hesitation at denying it, the tension in her body and her fisted hands have confirmed his assertion.

"Now, I have one of your secrets too.", he purred like the cat who got all the milk and made a plucking motion towards her.

She huffed in frustration, "It's not comparable."

"Isn't it now, darling?", he said with a tilt of his head, "How so?"

Abyss take me. She couldn't think of any proper reason. He was enjoying her flustering.

There is no point in hiding it.

"Fine", she said and throwing her hands upwards in surrender, "You win. There, you happy now?"

He scoffed, "It does take all of the enjoyment out of it when you just give up like that.", he tsked disappointed and continued, "Although, I don't understand why you hid it in the first place. It is hardly something to be ashamed about, my dear. So, why hide it?"

"Because of exactly that question."

"What?"

"Why", she repeated, "The why of it all. I.", she paused. "I can't tell you why."

She sincerely hoped he won't push the matter.

He scoffed again looking affronted, "So, you get to know so many of my dark secrets and yet you won't share yours. Rather selfish don't you think?"

He pouted, touching his chest with his hand and lulled, "Darling, I thought we had something special."

She rolled her eyes. Infuriating man.

"Alright, fine. But, I can't give you specifics. Yeah?", she could almost see his ears perk up as though he is about to hear the juiciest of gossip.

She sighed and crossed her arms, "There are people after me, very dangerous people. And word gets around very quickly about a half-drow. It's not like we're, plentiful. 'Up top' or otherwise for that matter."

He waited.

He blinked, "So, that's it?"

"That's all you're going to get, yes.", she confirmed, arms still crossed.

He deflated and melodramatically threw his hand up in the air, "But that's hardly anything at all! Besides the people after you can't be worse than the ones after me, darling."

Abyss take me, she put her hand over her face. Honestly, has he forgotten about Raphael? Speaking of which, why do men always want to..? You know what, no.

She sighed, "I'm not playing 'Who has the biggest stick with you' in this matter."

"The biggest what?"

She blinked at him and grinned, "Come now, Astarion. You of all people should figure that one out."

"Yes, well played, my dear.", he conceded.

She inclined her head at the acknowledgement.

She stated evenly, "I would prefer if you kept this to yourself."

He gave her a long look and replied sincerely, "You've kept mine, so I'll respect yours too."

"Thank you. And yes, the irony of the situation is not lost on me."

His grin widened.

He gestured to the cavern below, "Shall we?"

---

Nyx waited at the rock face while Astarion retrieved the keystone from the darkness below. He returned with a smug look on his face much like the one he wears after hunting.

She crossed her arms and asked with a smirk, "Pleased with yourself, aren't you?"

His eyes flashed.

"Oh, very much so. But that's not all whom I'm pleased with", he purred and slowly stalked over to her until he was close enough for her to smell the leather of his armour.

She lowered her arms and regarded him with suspicion. He gave her a lop-sided grin and brought his hand to her face, hooking her chin with his fore finger.

Abyss take him!, Nyx thought with a sharp intake of breath as her fires ignited at the touch. She watched him with hooded unfocused eyes, and she could feel the blush rush to her face.

He slowly brushed the back of his forefingers along her jaw line, his eyes following his fingers. Butterflies joined the heat in her stomach while he stroked her skin. His fingers trailed down her neck and his pupils dilated slightly. Nyx grabbed the back of his hand when he reached her collar bone and lifted it away from her skin.

We can't keep going around in circles like this.

He stopped, looking at her with a knowing smile. Her eyes darted to his lips, and he grinned showing tips of fangs. She quickly closed her eyes in order to focus on her words instead of her body, his proximity and his touch.

Those lips. Abyss take me.

Her body was screaming at her to kiss him already while her emotions were loudly squealing somewhere in the background. Her mind was telling her body to stop behaving like a slut, for her emotions to stop acting like a rowdy teenager, and for both of them to realize this was an unbelievably stupid idea. The conflicted squabbling between the three entities wasn't helping either, but her iron will reigned them all in. They shut up.

She opened her eyes and locked them with Astarion's. She needed to clarify what was going on right now.

"Astarion. Is this about you wanting my blood, or me?", she released his hand.

He blinked at her and tilted his head. He roved his gaze down her body, but it settled on her neck on the way up.

"Astarion", she warned.

His wicked grin spilt his face and he lulled, "My dear, let me make it very clear."

He moved alarmingly quickly to snatch her jaw with his upturned hand, hooking his thumb and forefingers around the back of her jaw and brought her face up to his.

She reflexively gripped her hunting knife, standing her ground. She held his gaze defiantly, gauging his expression.

He chuckled wryly and purred, "There's no need for that, darling. I'm not going to bite."

She released her knife and her tension.

He took a step closer. His eyes flitted to her lips and back. He leaned in and watched her reaction while he brushed his lips against hers. His lips gave hers a light tug and there was a question in his gaze, This is what you want, is it not?

There was a collective agreement between her body, emotions and mind to strangle him for being such an irresistible tease.

He smiled against her lips when she replied with a tentative kiss of her own, then invited him to continue with another. She gathered his face in her hands, capturing one of his ears between her forefingers. His lips and face soothingly cool against hers. She lifted her fingers to brush whispers against his ear. His hand remained under her jaw while  the other gripped her waist. She was weary of those fangs between the kissing. Nonetheless, she was completely enraptured by the sensation, breathing him in, relishing in the languid pace. He pulled away with a sly smile, leaving her wanting.

He looked at her as to almost admire his handiwork, one hand still gripping her jaw, tracing her flushed lips with his thumb. She watched his lips move.

"My dear, I expected you'd be breathless by now", he tilted his head, "Must be those strong lungs of yours", he trailed the back of his fingers down the front of her neck.

"I wonder.", he paused.

Retrieving his hand, he took a step back and continued looking her over, "I wonder how long it would take to make you breathless, hmm?"

Nyx's started to feel her haze clear while her desire seeped into the ground below.

She smiled and quipped with liquid smoke in her voice, "I think even you'll have your work cut out for you."

He lowered his head, squared his shoulders, and purred deliciously, "Oh, but I do so like a challenge."

Abyss take him, the squabbling between her three factions started up again. She tore her eyes from him and cleared her throat.

"We should be getting back", she said and turned not waiting for a reply. But a lingering smile remained on her lips.

Footnote:

Hmm, here is a chapter where I'm trying a juxtaposition between fun-and-games vs. dark-and-uncomfortable... then it becomes something which blurs the lines...

This is where the story is progressively leaning into the concepts of inner demons, past trauma and how that manifests... I find it truly difficult to write - how to portray it properly and show how insidious it can be. I want to treat it with respect and highlight the 'deeply troubling' nature of it. Astarion's context adds the additional dimension of seduction to it - which becomes even more disturbing when you intermingle it with trauma... Thus, Dark Romance is going to be a running theme for a while, but it won't be permanent otherwise we have no character/relationship growth.

In this sense, I struggle to find examples of 'appropriately manifesting' trauma in a story-based setting (I mean psychological and 'therapeutic' examples are there, but I'm writing about people not a clinical study) - and what that looks like between these two specific characters in this type of context (most examples out there are of the unhelpful kinky type).

Not all trauma is created equal and not all trauma presents the same...