Chapter 9: Repercussions
The silence was deafening as my three wards sat across from me on that familiar couch once more. If it weren’t for the fact they were all uncharacteristically mute It could have felt like déjà vu to the day I arrived at Southgard manor. Thinking back, I was so naïve as to what I was truly getting into.
When we arrived home Lena had requested that I go to the sitting room and wait for herself, Rowan and Cynthia. I didn’t have it in me to argue. I could almost hear Hazel snarkily mocking me about following ‘mummy’s’ directions, but the memory didn’t help imbue me with any courage, only shame. When Lena had left me she looked somewhat mixed with emotion, like she was both disheartened but yet at the same time there was an energy of calm determination about her. Thinking about the imminent discussion that was about to take place it occurred to me that this would be the first time I had been reprimanded in front of all of them since the garden incident, and to be frank part of me was afraid. Afraid both of the interaction being the same, and afraid it could be worse.
Lena and Rowan had taken up seats across from me in familiar fashion, with Cynthia standing behind them watching me disapprovingly. I must have been waiting nearly 2 hours alone with only my thoughts to entertain me, and even now despite the fact that everyone was now in attendance, none of them uttered a word. The only sound to be heard was the ticking of a clock in the distance and the gentle slurps of Rowan drinking some tea. While he enjoyed his beverage he would occasionally lock eyes with me for a few moments before turning his attention back to his drink. The brief periods of eye contact were doing nothing to reveal his Poker face. Cynthia on the other hand kept her gaze firmly on me the whole time. Her attitude was relentless in its judgement and felt unyielding. Other than occasional glances I wasn’t brave enough to meet her eye.
Lena’s demeanor had changed significantly since she had last left me, she now looked at peace. She was neither disinterested in me like Rowan seemed to be nor intent to burn a hole through my skull like Cynthia. She simply sat patiently hands crossed, clearly not feeling rushed for whatever she might be waiting for. She wore a pleasant expression and casually shifted her gaze around the room without much intent. Occasionally our eyes would lock with an exchange that didn’t quite sit right with me. She seemed to drift past my own gaze, ignoring the emotion in my eyes before offering me a smile that I could not return. In those moments I felt she wasn’t smiling at me, but somehow smiling at the idea of me.
The subtle ticking of the clock in the background only emphasized the strange environment around me. Lena had requested I wait for them, but now that they had all arrived I was met only with confusion. Between the three of them and their conflicting dementors I had no idea what to expect. Was there something more they were waiting for? Did they expect me to start speaking first? My eyes began to dart between them as I looked for some clue as to what drove this endless silence, but to no avail. The repeated ticking of the clock only added to my frustration. It was then that an obnoxious slurp from Rowans lips cut through the rhythm of the clock and tipped me over the edge. I couldn’t bare my own nervous energy and snapped. “Are you all waiting for something else or is this silent treatment some kind of punishment?” I blurted out frustratedly.
Cynthia smiled at my outburst from the corner of her lips as Rowan pulled the drink back from his and sighed. “Well . . . we had honestly hoped that patience might be one of your few virtues Christina, though it seems sadly not.” Rowan said cryptically as he placed his beverage back on the table next to him.
I had to blink back my confusion. Did they actually just expect me to sit there in silence forever? Before I could compose any response Rowan continued. “But yes, Lena has let us know all about how your day went. I thought its best if we discussed it all together as a house, no?” From everything I knew about the Southgards I had a sneaking suspicion that there would be very little discussion coming from my end.
“First off we do want to commend you for being so polite and well behaved during the majority of Lena’s engagements today. From what she said you were respectful and well-mannered during all the meetings you accompanied her on. We also want to specifically note how exceptionally well behaved you were with Christopher. As Lena described it you were the very embodiment of courteousness, and you should know just how much we approve.” Rowan spoke warmly to me, and when he mentioned my introduction to Christopher he almost sounded proud. To me the entire interaction was simple; that was just how I had gotten used to treating other nobility, and the way Christopher met me with that level of respect I instinctively returned it. The praise for it all had me somewhat conflicted. I felt like I had done nothing special, yet they were treating me as if I had wildly surpassed their expectations. In the face of their approval, I stayed silent at a loss for words.
After a moment Rowan continued. “But we also have to consider the things about yours and Lena’s outing today that didn’t go quite as well. From what I heard you ran off on your own after Lena asked to wait for her outside of the tailor shop. And not only that, but Lena also had to interrupt her work to remove you from the treasurers office once a clerk found you rummaging through state property?”
My temper flared at the description of events at the treasurer's office, and my hot head got the better of me. “It wasn’t ‘state property’, they were my family’s possessions!” I yelled back. Though I had barely finished my outburst when I got a cold dose of reality.
“Christina!” snapped Cynthia. Somehow her use of my name alone sent a shiver down my spine. “Manners. Don’t make me remind you again.” She warned. I was once again aware of just how terrifying she could be. Although her words didn’t quite hit me the way they had my first night here, there was now the awful understanding of what exactly she was capable of that had nearly the same effect. With my emotions sufficiently doused I sheepishly nodded to the sorceress, still doing my best to avoid eye contact.
Rowan continued with his lecture “While we understand your sentimentality regarding the entire situation, that doesn’t excuse your actions. Both knowingly going through restricted inventory, as well as raising your voice at the Clerk who found you.”
I could barely believe my ears. How was the horrible man who screamed at me after I simply tried to find family heirlooms free from blame, but yet I was in the wrong for defending myself from his verbal onslaught? I looked around nearly dizzy as I tried to comprehend it all, but out of fear of Cynthia’s retaliation all I could do was look.
Rowan rolled his shoulders back as he sat up straight. “Now what worries us more than the single instance of your actions today is that raising your voice and yelling at others has proven to be a habit of yours Christina. Whether it be at us three, Raphael, or even officials like the treasury clerk. The first time Lena saw you, you were even yelling at the court administrator.”
In thinking back to each instance, I remembered shouting at each of them, but it had never been my fault, and grouping them all together in this way felt extremely unfair. But as the three of them stared me down, the pressure of being confronted had me feeling overwhelmed and unable to defend myself.
“We hope it doesn’t need to be stated that shouting at others is not acceptable behavior.” Rowan said with a steel in his voice that felt both unnatural and unnerving coming from him. “In the future any such behavior will be punished, and starting tomorrow we will reinforce proper attitudes to stop incidents like that from occurring in the future.” Rowan finished. “Any questions?”
The tone of his voice and his exact use of words sent a shiver down my spine. Unable to resist I begged my question “What do you mean by ‘reinforce proper attitudes?’”
A harsh knocking suddenly interrupted the conversation, preventing Rowan from providing me with an answer. Looking over, the sound came from one of the maids standing at the entrance of the sitting room looking to get the attention of the Southgards and pass along a message.
“Yes Mary?” Cynthia said as she turned to address the girl.
“Mrs. Southgards package has arrived Ma’am.”
Lena suddenly perked up upon hearing the message. “Oh wonderful, if you could be so kind as to take it up to our bedroom” She looked nearly giddy as the girl nodded politely and turned back towards the main hall to complete Lena’s request.
Rowan also seemed to crack a small smile before turning back to me to continue the conversation. “We can go over that another time. But for tonight there is one last thing you should know; The whole reason Lena stopped at the Tailors shop was because at the time she decided she wanted to get a gift for you and your good behavior earlier in the day. Because of everything else that occurred throughout the day, we’ve decided to withhold that gift for the time being.” Rowan spoke very matter of fact, without much in the way of chastisement. “And on top of that, Cynthia will escort you to the washroom so you can do your nightly washing up, but after that you’ll be sent to your room early for the rest of the night.” Rowan rose from his seat signaling an end to the conversation. “You can consider both those things the first punishment for your actions.”
There was a small twinge in the way of relief that I would be allowed to properly wash up and use the restroom before bed, and that thankfully this wasn’t going to be a complete repeat of the situation with the gardener. But his final statement also worried me. ‘First punishment’ implied there would be more. So far the only punishments I had experienced had been a similar vein of sending me to my room, but the entire discussion had me feeling like that would not stay the case much longer.
Believing the conversation to be over I stood up from my own seat and prepared to follow Cynthia to the washroom. I had all but gotten use to being led places by Cynthia now, but what worried me more was the change in her demeanor during the entire conversation. Looking now she was now wearing a smile that was unlike her usual smug amusement, but instead something more boastful in nature.
With all that in mind her next words irked me “Christina, I want you to let us know that you understand all that’s been said to you and apologize for your actions, am I clear?” She said with a raised eyebrow.
Hearing the request, I couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh of frustration. Cynthia heard the sigh and proved to be unamused. “Do you want to make your punishment worse young lady?” She warned.
“No! I-” I stammered, panicked by Cynthia's threat. I quickly composed myself and acquiesced. “I understand, . . . and I’m sorry.” I said defeated.
Lena and Rowan appeared content with the resolution and Cynthia in particular seemed proud of her actions. She nodded at me approvingly before stealing a phrase I had only heard Lena use until now. “Good girl. Now lets get you washed up.”
As she led me towards the washroom to clean up before serving out my punishment I pondered my unanswered question. What exactly did they mean by reinforce proper attitudes? Rowan had told me that I didn’t need to concern myself with it, and it was definitely the case that I had many other things to keep occupied worrying about, but something about it stuck to me. I tried to push it aside, after all it was probably nothing.
************
Late into the night I found myself wandering into the first-floor lounge. It was hours after dusk, and the faint glow of encroaching moonlight did nothing to banish the shadows that cloaked everything from sight. Though even stranger was the fact that the darkness seemed to not only resist the moonlight but was even able to dull the presence of the lit fireplace in the center of the room, allowing only a muted orange glow to emanate from the hearth, which crackled loudly and danced with red flames. Sitting near the hearth was Cynthia, her face only half illuminated by the flittering light. She was resting on a rocking chair gently swaying back and forth to the rhythm of a slow gentle tune that hummed from her lips so quietly it was nearly eclipsed by the snap of the crackling flames.
I slowly moved further into the room as the shadows seemed to close around behind me. The darkness all around me showed only one path forward, and with each step it nearly felt like more and more of the outside was being cut off. The more I approached the more the shadows seemed to relent from around Cynthia. I now saw that she was holding a half-finished rag doll in her one hand, and a sewing needle in the other. As she hummed along to her tune she worked on the doll, closing up gaps, stitching in new fabric, reattaching proper buttons. Even as I approached step-by-step Cynthia remained focused on the doll completely oblivious to me. Slowly as I got closer and closer - and the shadows continued to shift to expand my view - I could make out the smaller details of the doll. She had red yarn for hair and was draped in a white dress. The doll wasn’t pristine, there were scorch marks dotting her clothing and half of her head was singed bare. Before Cynthia had started working on her someone had pulled the doll out of the fire.
Inside me there was an overwhelming feeling from deep in my gut. I had no idea why, but I felt it so urgently with every ounce of my being; she should have left the doll in the fire. She needed to put it back.
I planted my feet solidly in place and refused to keep moving towards the middle of the room. As I did the shadows seem to react around me. Suddenly any hint of moonlight was completely snuffed out as the darkness seemed to shut out everything but the flaming hearth. Despite the hostile nature of the room the gut feeling inside of me refused to relent. “Stop it!” I yelled at Cynthia. “Stop touching her! She needs to go back; you have to put her back now!”
Despite my shouting and protesting, Cynthia seemed not to even notice. She simply kept needling away at the doll. Cutting out her damaged parts and replacing them. Slowly I could tell that her dress was becoming a patchwork, it wasn’t all one colour but mixed in with fabric that Cynthia must have replaced herself. Watching for a few more seconds I realized that she was also cutting out parts of the doll that had been spared from the embers, barely marked but Cynthia would pull out pieces regardless and stitch in new fabric on top.
As I watched in horror at the desecration of the doll I heard the sharp crack of heels on the wooden floor behind me. I turned and suddenly Lena emerged from the darkness. Somehow the shadow bent around her, almost as if it dared not obscure her figure. She strode confidently towards Cynthia in the center of the room.
Somehow I knew that pleading at Lena to put the doll back would be useless, and suddenly all I wanted to do was run. I tried to pick up my feet but realized that my muscles betrayed me, and my legs refused to move. I looked over from where Lena came in to try to make out the door that she had entered from, but the shadow seemed to have swallowed it all, leaving nothing but a dark void staring back at me.
As I remained transfixed on the dark void around us Lena came up to my side, but instead of stopping she simply continued to walk right past me as if I wasn’t even there. She refused to acknowledge me as she walked continuously toward Cynthia like she was in some kind of trance. Suddenly at the last second without even looking, she reached out toward me with one hand. In a single swift motion Lena grabbed a strand of my hair, and all at once the flaming hearth let loose a single deafening crack as she ripped the lock clean from my head.
I screamed in sudden pain and threw up my hand to where she had ripped my hair from. Lena continued not to notice me and simply kept walking forward without missing a beat. The long lock of my hair now dangling between her two fingers as she approached Cynthia. Upon reaching her Lena stopped by Cynthia's side. Cynthia looked up to Lena as they both smiled at each other, and Lena handed her the scarlet strand of hair.
Everything in me screamed against what was happening. I had no idea what was about to occur, but at the same time that persistent feeling deep inside me knew that it was wrong and had to be stopped. I screamed at the top of my lungs but suddenly the sound wouldn’t escape my throat. I brutally fought against my body, trying desperately to move my legs, but to no avail. All I could do was sit, my face strained and contorted in futile effort to scream as Cynthia took my hair in her hand, and gently wove it into the fabric of the dolls head.
At last, as I fought against my legs and strained my throat in my voiceless scream, my body failed me, and I collapsed to the floor in defeat. The rest of my hair messily draping over my eyes blocking my view of the horrific act. I panted slowly as I regained my breath after fighting myself so relentlessly. Slowly after a few moments I brushed the hair out of my face to see what final Product Cynthia had produced.
Instead, as I looked to Cynthia’s lap the doll had disappeared. The two women were staring down at me, smiling with a softness that didn’t reach their eyes. I was filled once more with an overwhelming sense of dread before they both opened their mouths in perfect unison.
“Congratulations!”
************
I jolted up in bed, cold sweat covering my entire body. The damp feeling of my clothes and sheets sticking to my skin manifested the visceral discomfort I felt from my nightmare. My eyes jolted around the room in panic, at first I couldn’t realize that everything I had just lived through was a dream, but as the room around me came into focus my sensibilities slowly returned. My exhausted breath slowly normalizing as I began to center. “It was just a dream. . . It was just a dream.” I consoled myself. I knew the words to be true but at the same time the disturbance it left with me lingered. Something felt wrong, it didn’t just feel like a normal nightmare, it felt like my body was trying to warn me of something.
Looking to my surroundings once more, I realized it was dawn. A quick glance to my clock told me that it was just before nine in the morning, and that I had woken up mere minutes before the magical charms would have awakened me with gentle noise of birds chirping. I took another moment and fell back in bed as I did every morning when the reality of my situation dawned. I was still a ward of the Southgards, my world was still forever changed, and I was still alone. Today those feelings didn’t so much sadden me so much as exhaust me, and I knew that I still had to find out what other new punishments the Southgards had in store for me if any. I sat staring at the ceiling for another moment. Trying to delay the inevitable start to my day just a little longer. I sat there until the sound of birds that usual woke me began ringing magically from my clock. I turned to the window, and placed my feet firmly on the ground, which triggered some magical condition for the sound to fade away. I took a deep breath in to prepare myself for the day to come and launched myself up, ready to start it all.
I quickly set about making my bed, and gathering the clothes from yesterday in my laundry hamper. When this was done I undressed myself, and reached for one of the towels resting on my dresser so I could go take my morning bath. But as I did, I realized that there was some new addition to my room. In shock I dropped the hamper I had been holding, letting it and all the clothes within get scattered about the floor.
It was my mothers music box. Unmistakably the exact same one I had held in my hands not even twenty-four hours ago. Its walnut wood, engraved with flowers and birds, brass handles polished well. When I had last held it in the warehouse yesterday it had been covered with dust, but now it sat pristine, cleaned perfectly. Yesterday seeing it had left me motionless as if moving would make it disappear, and this moment was no different. Even more so it felt like this could be some cruel trick by Cynthia or even still some kind of dream. How could it even be here?
Slowly the shock of seeing the box wore off, and I carefully moved my hands to its lid. There were so many questions that its presence begged. Who brought it here? Why did they bring it? How did it appear here overnight? But other than those riddles, there was an unanswered question from yesterday that I now had the chance to answer.
My mothers pendant. The Revallia Crest. All my life I had known it to either be around my mothers neck, or lying safely within this box. The same thoughts and fears as yesterday swirled in my head, but with this second chance in hand, I slowly opened the main compartment.
That familiar tune played gently as I lifted the lid. A sweet but melancholic song playing on the steel comb of the box. It was the same tune my mother used to hum to me as I drifted to sleep. We never gave it a name; we only ever called it the Night’s song.
As it played, there came another realization. The graceful tune fell over me as I looked back into the empty compartment of the box. There was no pendant.
All I could do was sit and stare into the empty space in silence. My mothers necklace was gone. I could only speculate as to where it had went. It could have been stolen by looters in the chaos, it could have been sold by the new government. Part of me hoped that at the very least my mother had taken it with her when she had fled with the rest of our family, but that didn’t change the fact that in this moment, it was gone. It was my right to inherit, but now I never would.
Something in me shifted with this realization. The music which comforted me all my life now felt hollow, and in that moment the only thing that felt right was to just continue on with my day. I slowly closed the box, gathered the laundry scattered at my feet, wrapped myself in a towel and proceeded to the bathroom to start my day.
************
After taking one of the shortest bathes since my arriving here, I was now sitting down at the breakfast table, starting to eat. While the bath had helped relax my mind, I still felt dulled, and as if on autopilot. I ate the same things I had eaten most days here, a buttered bagel and orange juice. So far nobody had come to join me, which was rather unusual. Most days at least Cynthia had be there to eat with me, but this morning in what I would normally describe as a blessing, I was alone.
I continued to eat in silence, until around halfway through finishing my bagel, I heard the sound of multiple approaching footsteps. I didn’t have to wonder who they belonged to.
As my three wards entered into the dining room, they each jumped in some level of surprise upon laying eyes on me. “Christina!” Lena remarked, placing a hand on her chest to quell her surprise. “Oh, you startled us. We haven’t come to expect you at breakfast quite this early most days.”
It was slightly amusing to see them without their usual level of composure. I was so used to them being perfectly in control that despite everything it brought a smile to my lips. It was amusing that something as small as arriving to breakfast earlier than usual had such an effect.
“I took a quick bath this morning.” I responded before continuing to take another bite of my breakfast.
“Yes of course.” Lena nodded as the three of them continued to take their seats and grab their own breakfast. “Well, it is wonderful to see you this early with the rest of us.”
The statement sounded disingenuous in a way where I couldn’t quite tell if she was lying to herself or me. I had a feeling that being surprised in this way might outweigh any appreciation she had for my presence.
“Did you sleep well last night?” Rowan asked politely. “Hopefully the extra time to yourself left you feeling well rested.”
Between bites I sheepishly glanced to Cynthia, who to my non-surprise was staring right back at me as she sipped her coffee. “I slept fine.” I lied.
“I’m glad to hear it.” Rowan replied before shoveling a bite of pastry into his mouth. “Hopefully you’ve reflected on our conversation last night, as well as all of your actions that led to it.”
Lena was now starting on some fried eggs she had served herself when she became mildly excited with realization. “Oh, did you notice anything about your room this morning Christina?”
Honestly it could only have been Lena to get the box delivered to my room, but despite that fact the actual realization that it was her sent a shiver down my spine. My hand froze with the last bite of my breakfast still in it. And I simply stared forward out of disbelief.
Lena seemed to not my disturbance, and continued trying to goat me into answering. “You might have noticed that we left something on your dresser while you slept last night.”
While I grappled with the situation the only thing I could do was continue to stare blankly forward at the space in front of me. Without making eye contact I flatly responded, “Why did you put that there.” I asked plainly.
Rowan and Lena shared a brief look of confusion between each other before continuing. “Don’t you recognize the box darling?”
I then locked eyes with Lena bewildered. “Of course I recognize it, that music box has belonged to my family for my entire life. But why is it here?” I answered. I could feel more heat growing in me as I spoke.
Lena placed her hand on Rowans before answering me softly. “Well, after yesterday it was clear how important some of your old possessions were to you, so we had it fetched from the warehouse. We thought it might be a nice item to help you fall asleep each night, and we snuck it in your room last night as a bit of a surprise.” She responded with earnest. “Do you like it?”
The fire within me stirred once more, and with parts of me feeling so dull from the realization this morning, I didn’t care to think about what it was that I was about to do. I stood up, shoving my chair back from the table, and rested my weight down on my palms. “So not only did you invade my space while I slept, but after chastising and berated me yesterday for searching through my families possessions you had someone else do the exact same thing just so you can bring me some kind of gift to make me more compliant? Then you want to hear just how much I appreciate it? Who the Hell do you think you are!” I screamed at her.
Lena recoiled in surprise. Rowan signed and put his hand to his face. But Cynthia stood up with equal force to my own. She looked directly into my eyes, warning me.
In that moment, feeling so numb, and with the sting of empty music box fresh on my heart, I didn’t care about the consequences. “I hate everything you’ve done! And I hate-”
As I spoke, Cynthia lifted one hand, and snaped her two fingers.
As the sound hit my ears, suddenly every ounce of rebellion in me faded into non-existence. My words were stifled in my throat as suddenly I lost the will to speak. It was like in that instant I was snapped back to reality. In that moment it wasn’t fear that pushed my anger down, nor intimidation. Suddenly all I felt was overwhelming sense of shame. With that feeling I instinctively lowered my head and tucked my posture inwards. I immediately broke eyes with Cynthia and looked down to my feet.
Silence hung in the air for moments after. And with that silence the shame inside me started to find its home. I realized that this had been exactly what they were talking about yesterday when they spoke about me screaming at others. I was doing it now. And for what? Wasn’t Lena simply trying to do something nice for me?
As the feeling of shame settled into my chest and my actions settled with me, there was some kind of fleeting feeling in the back of my head, but it slowly faded away.
The three wards were now silently watching me. And after another moment of silence Cynthia spoke up. “Christina? What do you say to Lena after that outburst?” She asked condescendingly.
In this moment with the weight of my actions on me, I realized what I needed to do. “I’m sorry for lashing out Lena. . . And I do like the music box.” I said sheepishly. Cynthia nodded approvingly at me as I spoke.
Lena placed a hand on her heart as she listened to my words “Thank you very much darling for that apology. I’m just happy that you’re happy to have the box returned.” Lena then gave Rowans hand a quick squeeze before returning to her breakfast. I myself also slowly pulled my chair back to the table, and sat down quietly.
“Oh, and please don’t mistake the music box as the gift we were referring to yesterday.” Said Rowan. “That gift will be given once Cynthia, Lena and I decide you’ve earned it. This was simply a kind gesture from Lena, after she realized how much it might mean to you.”
After having apologized the shame in my chest was slowly disappearing, though not entirely gone. While there was no rebellion left in me, I still hoped for one last bit of information might be given. “Can I ask one thing . . . please?” I said docilely. My eyes darting to Cynthia for approval.
Cynthia who had also taken her seat once more smirked behind her coffee and gave me the smallest of nods.
“When you had the music box retrieved from storage . . . was there anything removed before bringing it here?” I asked hopefully.
Lena looked innocently confused by my question before answering. “No Dear, nobody would have removed anything. Why?” she asked earnestly.
Disappointment spread softly over my chest. I don’t know what I expected, but the hope that maybe my mother’s pendant wasn’t lost to me was now gone. “No reason.” I lied once more. “Thank you.”
Lena smiled gently at me. “You’re most welcome. Now why don’t you keep eating breakfast.” She said before continuing her own meal. “Maybe in the future we can get different combs for the music box so we can play more songs.” She suggested between bites of her food. “I think that would be nice.” It was clear there was an attempt to cheer me up in her words, but they had little effect.
As I continued my own food Lena's words started to settle on me, and despite my current demeanor I felt more able to resent them. The Night’s song was part of my childhood, part of my family history. We never needed anything else for it, and I didn’t want anything else. But despite my feelings I stayed silent, and continued to eat the last few bites of my breakfast.
Even after I finished my own food, I didn’t try to get up and leave. Unlike yesterday I lacked the confidence to stride away to the lounge, and instead I sheepishly sat at the table, waiting for the other three to finish their meals.
Rowan noticed my waiting as the other two enjoyed their breakfast. After what looked like a moment of pondering he sighed in what I could only identify as pity. “You can take your dishes to the kitchen, and then wait for the rest of us in the lounge if you like Christina.” I shyly made eye contact with him and nodded, before gathering my cup and plate to bring to the kitchen.
Leaving the room, the others waited a few moments before starting a conversation just out of barely earshot. Though as I left I caught the first few words spoken by Cynthia. "Now, wasn't that much better?" before it devolved into nothing but fait echoes to my ears.
